Bleak emotions.

21st Century year 2009. 25th of August.

"It" was yet to awaken.

My life has been spared, but these feelings might never regain consciousness, and I am solely responsible for this. I made it stay here for too long. Left all alone, abandoned by time, it chose death over despair.

I believe it will regain consciousness one day. I will place it in a cold sleep. This way, it could never be tarnished.

However, I do not know if I had taken the best course of action. I grieved heavily over its loneliness, and I willfully chose its own death. Even in the distant future that I might feel it again, the same vast world that I no longer know will stretch out before me.

When that happens, what would I say to her? I might just be committing the same mistake all over again. But even so.. even if that's the case.. I..

It's as if million lights were scattered across the sky. It was said that those memories were the most beautiful thing a person could cherish. And this is the first time I've experienced the warmest feeling yet the coldest one a person could feel.

Once more, I wish she could feel the same way back again. Even if it took centuries, even if it took thousands of years..

Yet, why is it.. that she..

She's the one I couldn't forget? Even if thousands of years came to pass, for the sake of the moment that she'll become finally aware of me.. For the sake of easing her loneliness when she realizes those.. Even if this world's visage changes, I shall continue the way I am, for what I feel, right now.

With these warm feelings that she doesn't know, I will wait.

So that, at least she can rest assured that one person is waiting for her. So I can tell her, that she's not alone. I will become the star that would shine in the darkest and deepest abyss, so I hope that she could be my light to follow as a guide.

To be or not to be.

The break between the second and third year of highschool-

That is when I realized something. Either way, I believe that I'm still blessed.

The odds that this exact feeling is also happening to any other person in this world, is probably unlikely.

Of course, I could not escape these feelings, even if I had escaped it, I can't do anything about it.

Perhaps saying that I was unlucky, is simply an extremely irresponsible argument, and I should just accept that the fault was my own.

After all, it all happened because I am myself. I believe it was that type of a series of incidents.

She is the girl in our class, who is seen as lively and cheerful. Although, I can see enough of her fissures in her heart, the tears that broke those feelings apart.

Even though she has been in the same class as me for all three years of highschool, I have yet to see her energetic and cheerful side, without those sad feelings.

She is sometimes seen staring blankly on the boundless and stretched sky. And over times, I feel that she's asleep with her eyes wide open.

Of course, that doesn't mean that she keeps those feelings all along. She is always like that, and looking like that is simply where she belongs. She doesn't have a wall around her corner, but she had swords that piereced her heart.

Just as second nature that she isn't here.

Though, despite what I've said, that hardly means a thing. Even though I have the misfortune of keeping these feelings while being the same class with her for three years, with a person whom I have never exchanged feelings with, I wouldn't feel lonely about it.

I'll be just fine. And she would probably second my opinion.

That's what I've always thought. But on a random day like no other.. those feelings were gone.

It was a shocking encounter, and also a devastating one.

...

As usual, I was almost going to be late. I was running down on the school hall. When I reached the landing of a staircase, a girl fell from the sky.

Black.

"I was right in avoiding her, and my feelings, wasn't I?"

"No, maybe it was a mistake."

Because those words, my thoughts, were extremely , and unreasonably light. As if it was a bad joke, as strange as it could get, as creepy as it could get... as if she was'nt present. That's right, for me, I've sealed all those feelings, turning a blind eye as if it did not existed.

With this, I still continue to feign ignorance, and conscience is shouting loudly back at me.